When finally apprehended by police, the would-be robber sputtered, "You guys going to let me die?"
From DeAnn Smith at KCTV5:
"TRIMBLE, MO (KCTV) - A First Security Bank employee with a conceal-and-carry permit shot a would-be robber in the jaw, authorities said Monday.Now that's how you write a news story. Clear. Concise. Factual. And highlights the swift and brave intervention of an armed citizen to thwart a would-be robber from stealing other people's hard earned peace of mind, along with their money.
Michael Stephen Oliva, 34, of Liberty, was charged with attempted bank robbery on Monday by the U.S. Attorney's Office. Oliva allegedly was carrying a realistic-looking fake plastic gun when he tried to rob the bank about 1:30 p.m. Friday.
Oliva was arrested after a chase in which speeds exceeded 100 mph. According to court records, a bleeding Oliva asked, "You guys going to let me die?" when he finally pulled over on Interstate 435 in Kansas City."
Contrast the above news story with the KC Star's narrative about this poor guy's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, and we all hope he's learned a valuable lesson:
"Oliva’s purported adventure began about 1:25 p.m. Friday, when he invited bad karma by parking in a handicapped-accessible spot before entering the bank. Pulling on a black mask, Oliva allegedly pointed a plastic replica handgun at a teller and demanded money.Got that? The would-be robber had an 'adventure,' and ' invited bad karma by parking in a handicapped-accessible spot'!! But, dang it, some mean ol' employee with an evil gun shot the guy instead of heaving another plastic trash can that would miss him.
The teller instead dropped to the floor, crawled away and yelled for help, according to court records. When Oliva leaned over the counter to wave his plastic gun at her some more, the teller heaved a plastic trash can at him.
At least that missed."
Oh, the humanity - of being a cub reporter working for this rag.
I have to hurl.