My dog squeeze list for 2005

Here is my list of things I really could have cared less about during 2005. Yes, I said cared less about because I care somewhat in the sense that they annoy me.
Hence my list and mild rant.
Read on! campers.

First, the tree hugging twits and unemployed socialists that violently riot in the streets during any given G-8 summit anywhere on this planet. Let's face it. When you can travel the world to do street combat with local cops, chant yourself horse and wave cheesy placards that nobody but cabbies and reporters see, you're a pimple on the butt of humanity. The G-8 leaders don't give a big brown pile about your antics in public.
You make no impact whatsoever except a negative one.
All you're really doing is wasting municipal resources, consuming fast food, filling up porta johns and fouling the precious metropolitan environment with your trash and personal waste. If you really want to make a difference, open a homeless shelter, join the peace corp or go back home (please!) and care for your sick grandma. Quit being a pimple.

Speaking of pimples, number two on my dog squeeze list are the historically challenged, leftist utopian youngsters who think that Che Guevara is hip. These pimple faced utopians spout all this 'tolerance', 'equality' and 'peace at all costs' nonsense then don t-shirts emblazoned with the impressionist image of this marxist mass murderer. This violent criminal championed hatred and justified his destructive deeds in the name of 'revolution'.
He is in good company with the likes of Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, and Fidel Castro.
Che Guevara was a communist; an anti-capitalist. These fools are paying a lot of money to buy these T-shirts and making some capitalist rich. That's what I call irony. 'Che' must be spinning in his grave.

'C' is rump ranger rodeos; in real life or at the movies. Guess what, Sparky? Nobody cares who you're swapping body fluids with. If you choose to pursue an activity that elicits a gag reflex from most folks, don't come crying to me about how unfair life is or how tough you have it. Two guys driving a stick shift falls into that category.
And I don't need some over hyped hollywood movie or over zealous advocate preaching to me that your mattress aerobics are something that I should care about. I don't.
Get over yourself and your 'lifestyle'.

Numero cuatro takes aim at the brain dead heterosexuals and all the gag-o-matic television shows pitched at them. That partial list includes 'elimidate'; blind date; desperate house wives; temptation island; sex in the city; cheaters and,......wait. I think I'm gonna hurl! Geez louise.
Why don't you folks just rent a porno and cut straight to the chase? Or turn on animal kingdom and repeat the telephoto particulars via Tivo? Krykee! Go take a cold shower and quit this voyeuristic glee over other folks mating rituals. This especially applies to monitoring celebrity lives. Some folks rail against the homosexuals for undermining the idea of marriage in the world, but these over paid bags of hormones do far more to trash marriage in this world than any queer pair ever could. I guess when you are an over hyped millionaire common sense goes out the window.

Five, the leftist utopian nimrods of the democratic (socialist) party that bring nothing more to the current political debate than i hate dubya! i hate gw! i hate da chimp!
To be sure, George Bush is only a fair president, but if you can't bring anything more to the market place of ideas than school yard taunts, tired 'ol cliches and misinformation, then sit down and shut up. I would bet frogs to turtles that the previous presidential election was the only time you voted during the last 3 years. You probably don't have a clue who represents you in congress, occupies your state house or sits on the city council in your town. But you sure the heck hate dubya! Sit down and shut up.

6 is distracted drivers. Now I don't care if you are eating a cheese burger, yelling at your kids or yakking on the phone, if you can't pay 99% attention to the road you are traveling, then don't do those things! Park first, then deal with it! This rant also applies to the self absorbed twits who drive slow in the fast lane or who don't use turn signals or who take up two and a half parking spaces because their new car is more important than your piece 'o crap. And don't get me started on the nut jobs with a television in their car.
Distracted pedestrians aren't immune from my wrath either.
Just because some genius invented the ipod & mp3s doesn't mean you can stroll through a crowded downtown area with your head up your butt and expect the rest of humanity to look out for you. The same goes for the self important power suits with a cell phone surgically attached to their ear because the world won't spin if they aren't in constant communication with everyone. The digital revolution is a wonderful thing but it is making it far too easy to be much to rude to way too many people.
Put the technology down and be sociable!

That's my first annual dog squeeze list and I know you can't wait three hundred and sixty-five for the next one, so here we go.

Just kidding.

I am on vacation til next year. Happy new year and be safe!