Friday, March 29, 2019

A Few Headlines

First All-Woman Spacewalk in History Is Canceled Due to a Lack of Medium Spacesuits
"The International Space Station only has one functioning medium sized spacesuit, so one of the female astronauts will be replaced by a man."

Why don't they simply self-identify as a man, or even a larger woman? It's very popular down here on Earth with the science-denier, bathroom dysphoria crowd. Or perhaps reality has a vote which can kill you in outer space...


Polar Bear Populations Booming
"Why global warming would be harmful to polar bears was never persuasively explained, nor was there any explanation of how the bears had survived many climatic changes over hundreds of thousands of years. In any event, it’s time to call the whole thing off."

It's was all a lie, or even gobsmacking stupidity, is a persuasive explanation.


Music labels sue Charter, complain that high Internet speeds fuel piracy
No, no. I had it on reliable authority that we were all gonna die with the repeal of 'net neutrality,' and be stuck with tortoise-slow internet which charged per web page visit.

There’s this new 4K Falcon 9 video you probably want to watch
"Like, don't even bother reading the article."

Ignore the valley-dufus 'like' in the tag line. It's a neat-o video. Really.

Key Melting Greenland Glacier Is Growing Again
"A natural cyclical cooling of North Atlantic waters likely caused the glacier to reverse course, said study lead author Ala Khazendar, a NASA glaciologist on the Oceans Melting Greenland (OMG) project. Khazendar and colleagues say this coincides with a flip of the North Atlantic Oscillation—a natural and temporary cooling and warming of parts of the ocean that is like a distant cousin to El Nino in the Pacific."

'Natural cyclical cooling.' 'Natural and temporary cooling and warming.'

OMG. Such much sciencing. It can't be tolerated. These people must be hunted down for re-education.

The Time Aurora Borealis was so Powerful It Set Fire to Observation Equipment
That sounds... bad. But don't panic. It was in 1859. There's still time this year for your backyard.

The Terra-Cotta Army protects the tomb of China's first emperor.
"They found not one, but thousands of clay soldiers, each with unique facial expressions and positioned according to rank. And though largely gray today, patches of paint hint at once brightly colored clothes. Further excavations have revealed swords, arrow tips, and other weapons, many in pristine condition.

The soldiers are in trenchlike, underground corridors. In some of the corridors, clay horses are aligned four abreast; behind them are wooden chariots.

The terra-cotta army, as it is known, is part of an elaborate mausoleum created to accompany the first emperor of China into the afterlife, according to archaeologists."