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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

The top nine list

The witty folks over at 'The Nose On Your Face' have the real top nine reasons why Mr. Clinton didn't like the ABC presentation of 'The Path To 9/11'.

9. Did not think casting Rosie O'Donnell as Monica Lewinsky was funny. At all.

8. Claims he never told Vernon Jordan that "if you stare directly into Madeline Albright's face, you'll become impotent."

7. Not historically accurate like Fahrenheit 9/11.

6. The film was way too negative with all of that terrorism, and Islamic fanaticism. It did not focus on the great economy during the 1990's at all.

5. Lewinsky used the unconventional single-kneed "halftime speech" stance when performing oral sex, not the more traditional two-kneed approach that was depicted in the film.

4. Falsely depicted Clinton as a "Whopper" eater rather than a "Big Mac" man.

3. Although he thought the scene where Hillary pees standing up was "hilarious", he caught hell for laughing at it.

2. Sandy Berger wears cargo-briefs, not boxers.

1. No matter how many personal requests he made, Hillary still does not get eaten by wolves in the end.

(Disclaimer: Any similarities between TNOYF's "Top 9" lists and other organizations "Top 10" lists are purely coincidental. As you can see, our lists have 9, theirs have 10. Way different.)