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Friday, February 28, 2020

Florida Man Friday

Florida hospital worker allegedly caught sucking patient’s toes
"Frantz Beldorin, 23, was charged with battery on a person 65 years or older."
Yup. Fine specimen of humanity mugshot, too.

Florida Man Arrested For Cow Manure Battery
"Investigators allege that Ramirez-Callejas “scooped the cow manure into the bucket and dumped it over the victim’s head” early Wednesday afternoon."
The investigation was a sh!tty job. (rimshot!)

Florida Man Jonesing in a Jaguar had needle in his arm while driving

"Shayhorn was arrested on a charge of possession of drug paraphernalia and violation of probation for a previous grand theft charge. Lermy was arrested on charges of possession of fentanyl and drug paraphernalia."
Check the impound lot in a couple of months for a great deal.

Florida not-a-man accused of putting boyfriend in suitcase said she was playing hide-and-seek.
"Boone said they were drinking alcohol and she passed out in her bed while he was still in the suitcase.

But deputies searched her phone and found videos showing Torres yelling he couldn't breathe from inside the suitcase.Boone can be heard laughing and saying, "That's what I feel like when you cheat on me" and yelling obscenities.

She's facing second degree murder charges."
Because breaking up is hard to do, but murder...

Florida Police Officer Fired after Arrest of Violent 6 Y.O. at School
"Kaia, a first grader at the charter school, had a tantrum earlier in the day where she had kicked and punched three school employees, leading to her arrest on a charge of misdemeanor battery, according to her arrest report. However, by the time Turner and another officer approached Kaia to detain, cuff and arrest her, the girl had calmed down, the video shows.

...Kaia has since enrolled in a private school, after refusing to attend a school with an officer on campus, Kirkland said. She said she worries about how the trauma from the arrest will affect her granddaughter in years to come."
The officer was fired days later for failing to follow department policy about children under 12. Social media is loosing its poop over this 'mean cop,' but I think he did this girl a favor.

Florida not-a-man Drove Topless, Performed sex-act on Boyfriend, Quarreled, then Crashed
"Deputies arrested the woman, a Jupiter resident, on a battery charge, while her boyfriend was jailed on a resisting arrest without violence charge."
Hands full of trouble, so to speak.

Dood! What did you do in my car??
Mystery joyride: Florida Man gets tickets & tolls, finds lingerie in Jeep after it was in Clearwater repair shop