Not that there's anything wrong with that... (yes, it's safe for work)
From Onion News: Plagued for years by swirling rumors about its sexuality, soccer has finally come out, becoming the world's first openly gay sport.
In related news, soccer has been linked with socialism, a known mental disease. This may explain why much of Europe and many third world countries get so buzzed about frenzied games which frequently end with an impotent outcome of zero to zero.
Coming soon to a North American continent near you.
I meant the socialism. Although President Obama did once attend a non-existent soccer game back in April...
We now return to our regularly scheduled program.
