Florida Man Will Dress as Grim Reaper to Protest Beach Reopenings
"So Uhlfelder came up with an equally ridiculous protest idea: dressing as the Grim Reaper to persuade people to remain home and stay alive. Uhlfelder, a Miami native who lives in Santa Rosa Beach in the Panhandle, this week vowed on Twitter to embark on what he calls the Florida Grim Reaper Tour."Let's review: Congregating at beaches possibly helps spread the virus. What to do? Go from beach to beach dressed as a fool, and possibly spread the virus. This has 'Florida man' written all over it.
Florida Man Attacks Good Samaritan at Food Distribution Event in Opa-locka
"A 70-year-old man was punched in the face by a self-proclaimed pastor after he was simply trying to deliver food to those in need, authorities said.Pastor of what? Fight Club?
“When I said, ‘Why don’t you help us?’ At that moment, he hit me and (I) went backwards on the sidewalk and landed on the street ... my phone went flying. It is broken,” Madrigal said.
Police said Mikell punched the victim in the face, knocking him out."
Florida not-a-Man put 'Help! Get Me Out of Here' sign on window because she was struggling with homework
"Deputies learned she wrote the "impassioned plea" on a piece of paper, then placed it against the window of her bedroom.
"While we were happy to know that no one was in danger, we totally relate to the frustration that comes with math homework," according to a statement."
Newly Minted Florida Man Kicked Out of Tampa City Park
Mayor @JaneCastor on a @TomBrady sighting in Tampa:— WFLA NEWS (@WFLA) April 20, 2020
"Our parks are closed down so a lot of our park staff patrol around...and saw an individual working out in one of our downtown parks. She went over to tell him it was closed. And it was Tom Brady." https://t.co/fASoW4tCpu pic.twitter.com/u2Sbaczdwz
The former New England Patriots quarterback officially signed with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on March 20.
Florida not-a-man having ‘nicotine fit’ tries to hit cars with pipe because no one would give her cigarettes, deputies say
"Deputies said Hunt resisted and tried to get free and run away while they were attempting to handcuff her."Pro tip, darlin'. There's lots o' cigs to be had in jail - for the right price.
Florida not-a-man spits chewed food into fruit bins, laughs when questioned about COVID-19, police say
"A report stated Walmart estimated the total cost of produce destroyed by Santis to be nearly $350. Santis was arrested and charged with recklessly tampering with a product and is being held at the Volusia County Jail on $15,000 bond."
Also, Florida not-a-man, but close enough:
